is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i think i just lost a toe
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
