covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize