first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
