Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
