I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
