she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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