Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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