it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
