well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
