We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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