umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
