Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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