Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
