That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
