Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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