I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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