Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
