It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
