Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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