Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
