so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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