After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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