I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
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