A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
