ya dads aren't the best wingmen
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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