i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
