I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
