What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
