he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
