ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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