I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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