Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
