& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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