ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
