hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
