I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
