She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
