The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
