Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize