I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
