I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
