Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
