Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
