dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
