he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
