you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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