just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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