So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
