...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
