She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
