apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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