I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
