OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
