batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
