How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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