Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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