Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
