i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
