so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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