Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize