Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
