im drinking this country out of the recession.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
